We’ve all heard the instruction: “Put your own oxygen mask on first.”
But what does that actually look like in real life? For so many of us (especially the oldest daughters, the ones who hold families and teams together) it’s easier said than done. We’re the fixers, the strong ones, the steady supports everyone leans on. And we’re often the very last to get our own care.
Eventually, that constant giving catches up with us. We get tired. And we get sick. (Ask me how I know.) We forget what it feels like to be nurtured.
What Does It Even Mean to Step Back?
Earlier this year, I saw a woman online, who was on the verge of tears, asking, “HOW do I step back? What do I do now?” She had spent her whole life pouring into others. She wasn’t even sure where to begin when it came to pouring into herself. I totally get it. That was me, too.
I Started with Joy
These days, I make time for joy. Joy on purpose and every day. Sometimes that joy is big, like planning a trip to a concert I’ve been looking forward to. Most days, it’s small. Simple. Intentional. Like reading a bedtime story out loud and posting it to TikTok. It connects me back to a sweet memory of my dad reading to me and my twin brother, and later me reading to my own twins. Just 10 or 20 minutes at the end of the day, and I feel restored.
Other small joys?
🌸 Scented bath bombs.
🍧 A (non-dairy) frozen treat on a hot South Carolina day.
🎶 Singing, just because it feels good.
These aren’t luxuries to me; they’re lifelines.
What Would Joy Look Like for You?
In my coaching practice, I created a pathway called “Sol Joy” where we explore the practical ways joy can become part of your daily life again. You don’t always need to overhaul your whole world. You just need to start where you are.
Here are a few suggestions to begin:
- Wear your favorite color.
- Sing along to a song that lifts your spirits.
- Sit with a favorite drink and watch the sunrise or sunset.
- Curl up with your favorite comfort movie or book.
- Revisit something your younger self used to love — and invite her out to play.
Joy isn’t selfish. Joy is medicine. Joy is balance.
Your Invitation to Breathe Again
If you’ve been giving to everyone but yourself, and want support in rediscovering joy, I’d love to help you put your oxygen mask on with care and intention.
I’m offering a free 30-minute Sol Joy session to help you reconnect with the joy already waiting inside you. We will work through a short guided meditation and personalized hypnosis to help you experience the power of focused, supported transformation.
👉 Click here to schedule your free session.
And if bedtime stories bring you comfort, you can listen to one of my readalouds on my TikTok page @juli.tranquil.sol.
“Do you pay regular visits to yourself? Start now.” — Rumi
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend!
Juli Nixon 